The Past

So often we are told to leave the past in the past.  People say things like “move on” or “get on with your life”.  I have no problem with people continuing their lives when traumatic things happen.  I do, however, have a problem with people trying to rush others through the process.  I do not promote stagnation, but neither do I support rushing through in an attempt to please someone else.  It seems there are some who are not in tune with their own feelings and emotions, and because of this, they find it hard when someone is openly or vaguely expressing emotions such as hurt, fear, or grief. 

I would like to give a little advice to those who are pushing others to sprint through a process that should be walked through.  Stop!  Though you are uncomfortable watching someone you care about go through the process, you do not have the right to rush them.  Just be a friend and be there.  Sometimes words are not needed, just knowing you care enough to be there is enough.

A word of advice to those who are struggling in the process.  Continue your struggle in your time.  Stay in this place as long as you need to as long as you are moving.  The pace of your movement is not important, it is the act of moving that dictates that you are still healing and that you are in the process.

For anyone saying “get over it,” “move on,” or “leave the past in the past,” to you I say, SHUT UP!  Let me explain to you what my past includes:  In my past I was molested, beat, choked to death, and abused.  My past contains some great hurdles that I was able to overcome and be successful in spite of them.  My past contains love, caring, family, friends, experiences that are great, laughter, and growth. I gave birth to two beautiful, smart, educated, and loving children in my past. These things I want to always be able to remember when life gets a little rough.  They can encourage me to continue in forward progress.  My past also contains death of family, friends, loved ones, and most importantly my mother.  Though this experience was extremely difficult, it was also a defining moment for me in my faith.  With her passing, I realized where I was spiritually and the things that I needed to work on.  I found out that my sisters and I are an unbreakable bond and that we bind more closely together when anything attacks our hearts, our peace, or our love.  I found through all of my past experiences that I am stronger than I thought, and there is a support system out there of people who literally cover me in prayer.  I found that though I don’t always feel God, I know He is with me.

So, I will never completely move on, get over it, or leave the past in the past, because it is my past that has defined who I am today.  Every experience has marked me in some manner.  Every scar has taught me a lesson.  Every joy has built my faith.  My past is me.  I don’t have to live in the past, but I also realize that my past prepared me to walk into the future God has destined for me.

#LoveThePast

#LearnFromThePast